


The apocalypse survival (and romance) manual

by heiika



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst I guess, Anxiety, Bad Flirting, Bad Romance - Freeform, Blood and Violence, Drama, Eventual Smut, How Do I Tag, Implied Past Trauma, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, OT4, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Past Character Death, Polyamory, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Zombie AU, Zombie Apocalypse, i mean its funny sometimes idk, im trying okay, is zombie romance a thing?, its a zombie au they need to die sorry, rlly slow burn, tsukki's my baby but im gonna make him suffer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:01:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25826320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heiika/pseuds/heiika
Summary: Tsukishima Kei is not a zombie.That's what he repeats to himself every time the sun comes up and it is also what his scientist friend Yamaguchi responds to when his friend is too anxious about his own existence.He's functional, he doesn't eat brains, he doesn't stink of rotten meat, he isn't decomposing twenty four hours a day and he doesn't have an insatiable hunger for human meat.And, at least in his view, that was enough to identify whether someone was a living dead or not.Then, as he watched the three men in front of him, dirtied by the blood of the zombie that had recently been biting his leg, he doesn’t understand why the tallest of them was aiming the shotgun at him.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Kuroo Tetsurou, Akaashi Keiji/Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 28
Kudos: 172





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo I made one zombie au and I hope u guys enjoy it sz  
> I'd also wanted to thank my angel @traxcy for being my beta i luv u so much TT

With his lips slightly open, he exhales in irregular breaths, while, with growing anxiety in his chest, he feels sweat running down his body along with the current adrenaline in his veins.

He looks around, in despair, with the need to find a sharp object, however, he doesn't immediately finds any possible weapon in his view of the confectionery area.

He could hear his steps, slow, yet very strong, echoing through the corridors of the old store.

He ponders whether it will end there, in the hands (teeth) of an unknown zombie, while his pleas take over the street for a few hours until his fateful end arrives.

That, honestly, wasn't the end that the blonde imagined to have, but also, as his mother used to say,  _ we don't choose how we are going to die. _

Then he appears.

The well-known smell of rotting meat quickly entered his sensitive nostrils while his eyes captured the vision of the being not far from him.

Walking slowly, very cliché, with greenish hands pointed at his direction, the undead made its much-acclaimed noise.

Probably calling more of his kind to make them appreciate the food or, perhaps, telling him his own fate.

The worst thing is that he knew that if he were in the comfort of his old house, he wouldn’t contain his laughter when witnessing the “dumb blonde” waiting for death without doing anything.

Well, at least now Tsukishima understands how terrifying that scene is, as loutish as it seems to be on television.

However, in this way of thinking, the zombie quickly ran towards him, thus biting his shin.

“Damn!” That's what he screams when he feels the flesh being easily torn by rotten teeth, which, nevertheless, managed to be as healthy as those of a predator. “Let me go, you little shit!” Kei tries to pull his leg, however, it only makes the zombie squeeze it even harder, and now starting to try to pull a piece of meat.

With his heart pounding, he wonders if the one with rotting flesh and decomposing skin can hear it together with his murmurs of pain and despair.

_ Ah, if only one big hottie saved him like in apocalyptic romance movies. _

Searching the store's cardboard debris, ignoring the monster's strong grip on his heel and the fact that his leg was being chewed, he found a piece of metal.

Holy shit, it couldn't get any more cliché!

Cursing himself for not finding it earlier, he sticks the object to the undead's exposed head, who, in response, screams in despair as he tries to remove it from the body.

Tsukishima didn’t contain a small proud smile, he might not have started in the best way, but he would be able to break free of that situation.

Alone.

(Un)fortunately, before the zombie attacks his face, it stops moving when it falls strongly against Kei's body.

“You don't give up easy, do you?” He, wearing military clothing and a crooked smile, asks in a tone of amusement. “We tried to arrive earlier, but the traffic wasn’t good, you know?” he comments, adjusting the shotgun, an answer he (Kei) needed to know to why the monster was dead and left on him.

“We came as fast as we could on the first shout!” the other, in a tank top and sweatpants from adidas, says happily. “It just so happens that we forgot that, well, zombies don't know that you can't cross out of crosswalk.” he laughs, excited, together with the other male who was talking to him previously.

“But it looks like we didn't arrive in time, right?” the last one of his “saviors” speaks when pointing out the redness of fluids that trickled down his leg. “Forgive us for the delay, we didn't think that would be enough to turn you into a zombie.”

“No!” the one with black hair and caramel eyes exclaims angrily, then he kicks a stack of boxes to relieve stress. “Fuck, I can't believe we let another zombie be born!”

“Hey, hey!” The second one, with mixed white and black hair, tries to calm the other down. “He can still have salvation, you know? He didn't become a zombie, zombie!”

“Bokuto-san, don't defend the zombie.” He, in a white coat, although with red splashes, speaks in a dictatorial manner.

But, well, Tsukishima Kei is not a zombie.

That's what he repeats to himself every time the sun comes up and it is also what his scientist friend Yamaguchi responds to when his friend is too anxious about his own existence.

He's functional, he doesn't eat brains, he doesn't stink of rotten meat, he isn't decomposing twenty four hours a day and he doesn't have an insatiable hunger for human meat.

And, at least in his view, that was enough to identify whether someone was a living dead or not.

Then, as he watched the three men in front of him, dirtied by the blood of the zombie that had recently been biting his leg, he doesn’t understand why the tallest of them was aiming the shotgun at him.

“Tetsu! We don't have to kill him!” The one with white hair and black locks says, in a loud whisper, pleading the other with his life. “If we take care of him until the week is over, there’s no problem!” He explains and, even though Tsukishima didn't understand what that meant, he supported the idea.

“Kou, that one week thing doesn't exist.” The gunman speaks, irritated, with his left hand pulling the messy strands of his hair, he seemed to think about what should be done. “I don't want to do that either, okay? But this one week-long doesn't work and you know it.” Apparently, he wouldn’t change his mind and, while Kei removes the zombie's body from him and tries to get up, the (apparently) military man focuses on him again. 

“Hey, Megane-kun, what are you doing?”

“Kuro, stop it! You're scaring the poor guy!” the other one screams, enraged. “And it worked for me, okay?!” He tries to take the gun from his colleague's hand, but is quickly  stopped by the third, and last, individual of the trio.

“Bokuto-san, I know you have a weakness for this type of situation, but we can't do that.” The short one explains, pushing him discreetly from the scene. “Come on, we don't need to see that again.” Now with a little more strength, he pulls the other away and, surprisingly, Kei doesn't have the strength to judge him.

That wouldn’t be a pleasant scene anyway.

“But, Akaashi!” One last plea for the shorter man, and also relatively weaker, in front of him that, while holding hands, took him out of that place.

So Tetsu, as Kou (the one who failed miserably to save his life) named, sighs.

“Look, Megane-kun, it's not personal, okay?” he says, slightly downcast, however, not at all shaken by the decision.

He was probably used to that kind of stuff anyways.

“Okay.” That's what Tsukishima says, leaning on the floor, waiting for what would come. “But I'll let you know, shots won't kill me.” Tetsu laughs one last time and, before pulling the trigger, comments sarcastically.

“If you survive I will give you my Lady.”

However, before Tsukishima could ask what the hell the Lady was, the pellet of the gun had gone through his skull and his mind had gone elsewhere.

The taller one holds the gun in the blonde's direction for a few more seconds, he knew that sometimes, even with bullets in the skull, some unfortunates souls managed to become zombies.

He had discovered it in the worst way, and would never let it repeat.

But, after probably two minutes without movement and a dead silence, he eventually gets tired.

“I knew you wouldn't move.” Tetsu said with a roguish smile on his lips, turning his back on the body lying on the floor, looking for the exit of the pastry shop again.

It wasn't as if he, Tetsu, had no heart or compassion.

It's that, unlike Kou, he wouldn’t take a half dead-alive to their base just to see if he would become a zombie or not.

Please, they were in the middle of the apocalypse, he didn't have time for charity.

That, besides being a stupid idea, was a complete waste of time.

As much as the blondie had a really cute face, he wouldn't test his luck twice in just one day.

Upon hearing a noise, Tetsu quickly puts the gun in its place, paying close attention to the noise of step, he cursed himself for not having waited any longer.

But, well, he wasn't a crystal ball to keep predicting that kind of thing.

“And it's not that the son of a bitch really moved.” he whispers to himself, not containing the irritation in his voice, he thought about where he would have to drop his shotgun when he was done with it.

Tetsu was a man of words at the end of the day, what he had promised earlier would be done if he (zombie) was the one with the glasses walking and not just any other undead.

Honestly, he wasn't mentally ready for what he saw when the other arrived, after all, never that kind of thing had happened, he couldn’t contain the “shit” that escaped his lips.

He had literally shot the other.

This was not how life worked. 

“So, who is this Lady that you will have to give to me?” Tsukishima, intact, with a bite mark on his leg and bloody clothes of his own blood, asks.

Tsukishima Kei was not a zombie and he knew that very well.

Because he, unlike the undead, never left.

_ It didn't matter what he did. _


	2. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How did you do that ?!” The brunette frowns, clearly confused, but Kei could understand him. He was also confused when he died for the first time, in fact, he just started getting used to it recently.
> 
> Casually, he still pondered his own existence among many other things that surrounded him.
> 
> Even in that fucked up world, Kei managed to be abnormal.
> 
> And that was comical!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg thank u guys so much for all the kudos, bookmarks and comments (u guys so sweet TT) like seriously thank u so much <3  
> Also I wanted to thank my beta, my angel, my everthing (lfmao) @traxcy szszszsz  
> I hope you like the new chapter sz

Everything happened gradually and, to this day, Tsukishima blames the government and its lack of concern for its citizens. Since, when they were close to the beginning of the apocalypse, countless scientists pointed out that the whole situation could be non-existent if the government had been more careful at first.

In the end, that was to be expected, politicians never cared much about things until they hit them.

_ However, that was not the case, at least, not now. _

He remembered perfectly, detail by detail, how it all (the apocalypse) unfolded.

The first zombie appeared in April, four years ago, just after a mosquito escaped from a nuclear power plant. Apparently, as the scientists said, the mosquito underwent a genetic transformation due to radiation and ended up having cannibalistic tendencies with those of the same species. And, after their fluids came into contact with the human bloodstream, some individuals began to experience the same symptoms.

The disease is transmitted through saliva, so anyone who comes into close contact with someone infected, eventually, also becomes ill.

_ You only contract the disease if it is taken orally or through the bloodstream, though. _

The symptoms are: coughs; fever; digestion problems; an indescribable hunger for human flesh; memory loss; body parts decomposing for no apparent reason; among other small details.

_ Then, resulting in the “death” of the individual. _

_ Well, almost death. _

The concept of death was much debated in the meantime, _ kinda stupid if Tsukishima may be sincere _ . Some believed that zombies were, regardless, people and that it was still possible to have conversations with them. After all, they were human before all this, so why shouldn't they?

_ So, they did studies. _

_ They always do studies. _

They continued with that joke until they realized that, no, that was impossible.

_ Necrophiles were very disappointed by the news. _

It seems kind of disgusting to say, and in fact, it is.

But Tsukishima loved a good unnecessary comment.

The kind of knowledge that made you uncomfortable and that, of course, you would be able to live peacefully without.

_ The surprise in the eyes of others was what made the blonde laugh at dusk. _

In the meantime, the government was trying to place the population in stone towns.

Which, basically, were random submerged cities under the metropolis that the government had built over the years.

_ They were prepared for the end of the world from an early age. _

The oldest (exposed by the media) was from the eighties, although it was reformed to be safe and modern enough to not scare any citizen, it still had its aspects of the time.

_ They (the stone towns) have a scientific name, however, they earned this nickname because of their surroundings being surrounded by stones. _

And indeed, some have worked very well and are still going strong today.

_ The eighties, mainly, was one of the safest. _

However, not everyone could live as a mole (nickname for underground city dwellers), and sometimes the barrier would break and the place would be devastated.

_ Becoming, then, one of millions of cities dominated by the living dead. _

Be it for natural causes, extremists who were in favor of apocalypse or zombies.

_ For Tsukishima, it was the extremists. _

He and his family did not have a large income, after all, they were lucky because they participated in a contest. It wasn’t an upper class city, it was a medium one, however, it was comforting enough for him and his family. They lived in that place for two years and one day.

_ They had good years, even though they lived in captivity and with several restrictions, it was better than being in the world up there. _

_ Partly overwhelmed, with few safe places, it was as if a child's nightmare had taken shape in humanity. _

_ Unfortunately, all that is good ends. _

On December twenty-fourth, the day before Christmas, an extremist group (Wings of Liberty) decided that it was a good idea to end the stone town where Kei lived.

They broke the passage at eight, at night.

And by half past ten, half the population had been wiped out.

Resulting in the inevitable, reminding him that, still, he wasn’t safe.

_ And that same day, he discovered that he couldn’t die. _

In the end, he managed to escape, alongside Yamaguchi, who lived in the same city as him and studied medicine at the local laboratory.

To this day, the blond had nightmares about that night and, really, he didn't find it funny.

Instead, he found extremists unnecessary and blamed them for most of his daily suffering today.

Even now, as he rested his left hand on his waist, facing the confused brunette in front of him.

_ Nothing would happen if they stayed away and didn't bother those who tried to live. _

However, as Akiteru said, there is no turning back and we have to deal with the new options without question.

_ Kei didn’t agree very much with the no contesting part, but that was beside the point. _

Frightened, the (probable) military man again points the shotgun towards him, on the defensive.

And even though Kei knew he wouldn't really die if he got another fatal shot, he didn't want to go through what happened a few minutes ago again on the same day.

“If you shoot me again it won't do much good, you know?” That's what Tsukishima says with a heavy sarcasm in his tone, smiling. Clearly amused by the situation, after all, it wasn’t the first time that this had happened.

Every now and then a "saint" would come to his rescue while he unveiled the world and ended up in a complicated situation.

_ Only once in a while. _

“How did you do that ?!” The brunette frowns, clearly confused, but Kei could understand him. He was also confused when he died for the first time, in fact, he just started getting used to it recently.

Casually, he still pondered his own existence among many other things that surrounded him.

_ Even in that fucked up world, Kei managed to be abnormal. _

And that was comical! 

“I dont know.” Tsukishima replies, sincere, looking sideways in search for what he had so risked his life to possess.  _ Tetsu doesn't seem very convinced _ . “Really, I don't know, now can you lower this? I don't die, but I feel pain and getting shot is not the best feeling in the world, you should know, right?”

“Sorry blondie, but it's hard to trust you, will you become a zombie? I told you before, it's not personal.”

_ He is uncomfortable with the nickname, but decides to ignore it. _

“Is it a military thing to be paranoid like that or are you just old?” Kei laughs with his own comment, adjusting the pair of glasses, surprisingly intact. It wasn't like he had to worry about them, he had others at home. Still, it was always good to see the way home when you were to return and not have to rely on instincts.

He clearly remembered the time he mistook a person for a zombie and had his arm devoured.

_ Mondays were never his favorite days. _

“This is not very warm to hear from a newborn zombie.” And that was enough to irritate the tallest in the room, already frustrated with the whole situation.

He tried to maintain a peaceful coexistence, but the others didn’t help and, even though it wasn’t something that pleased the blonde, he wouldn't measure efforts if the worst unfolds.

“I'm not a zombie!” That's what he screams when he punches the metal on the shelf, looking at the armed man in front, he hated being compared to that.

_ An action that draws the attention of the other two who were waiting outside the enclosure. _

_ (Among others.) _

The brunette, in turn, is startled by the blonde's strength, after all, he had made a mark on the metal.

_ He is dangerous. _

Tetsu thinks.

He didn't know how to act, damn it, he shouldn't have listened to Kou when he commented on the scream.

_ He should have just followed his path and that's it! _

_ That’s what happens when you give charity. _

He had still annoyed the blond, damn it, he was fucked.

“Bro, we heard a very loud noise, are you okay?!” Kou asks when entering the scene, surprised to face the blonde, intact. He hoped, at least, to have found him as he had at first, bloodied, not healed. “Holy shit, what the fuck happened here?!”

“Bokuto-san, language.” Akaashi responds with the same indifference in the voice he was used to reproducing, even though, inside, a million theories passed through his mind.

He was a renowned scientist and was always studying zombies and their behavior, not that the blonde was a, well, maybe a new guy?

No, it was not the time for that.

“I died, so I came back to life.” Kei explains, already tired of all that. “That's what happened.”

Then a deep silence settles in the room and, confused, the three men tried to process the new information, which, surprisingly, was the most surreal thing they had ever heard in a long four years.

And look, they were living in an apocalypse.

_ But Tsukishima gave them a discount because, well, it wasn't every day that someone came back to life, other than as a zombie. _


End file.
